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pen-162124_1280Mom Opens Report Card On Portal And Doesn’t Have Stroke

A 52-year -old mother of three boys was reportedly shocked when she opened her youngest son’s high school report card after grades were posted to the portal. Not only were the grades pretty good, but they were also all exactly the same as her son had told her when she had asked him what to expect.

After decades of being blind-sided by less than stellar report cards the mom was stunned and confused. She had expected a litany of excuses for sub par grades, such as teacher incompetence or computer error. She was heard to mutter, “I don’t understand what’s going on here” and “why would he do this to me”? Her plans for an evening of drinking and commiserating with other moms now ruined, she didn’t know what she was going to do. She also didn’t trust her son’s motives. Her suspicions were completely founded when her son explained, “I really do understand that my future is at stake here and I am hoping to get into a good college”.

Completely befuddled by both the report card and her son’s comments and, with nowhere else to turn, she called his pediatrician. The doctor listened to her story and told her he had seen this happen once before, years earlier, with another boy. He told her that the report card and the new attitude her son was exhibiting might have been just a fluke, but if it happened again, there was a possibility that her son had matured earlier than expected. If this were the case, he said the boy would be just fine and that she would probably need to find something else to worry about. He also added that she and her husband should probably expect to look at higher ranked colleges than they had originally anticipated.

Somewhat relieved, yet still wary of the recent turn of events the mother got off the phone and went to speak with her son. Before she could commend him on his good report card, he mentioned that he had missed the deadline to sign up for the driver’s education course he had planned to take the following semester, he left his new jacket somewhere but couldn’t remember the exact spot, and also added that she might be getting a call from the vice principal, but was somewhat vague about the specifics. With her universe back to normal, the mother smiled to herself, and knew she had nothing to worry about after all.








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