Extra Breaking News:


8-Year-Old-Boy Has No Plans For Summer

We have confirmed reports that a local 8-year-old boy has no plans for the summer. Apparently his mother had forgotten to hit send on the camp enrollment form and by the time she realized her mistake, her son’s age group had been full for months. In fact, none of the camps she called had openings. In stark contrast to his mother’s panicked demeanor, the child seemed unperturbed by the news that he would be home for the summer. Although the boy was at first unsure what he would do every day, when pressed he was able to identify a number of activities in which he could engage.

When interviewed for this article, the child stated, “I guess I could swim in the pool we have in our backyard which I don’t get to use during the school year. I could also play with my two dogs and run around in the backyard. I have a really nice swing set and fort; I can use my imagination and pretend I’m a pirate. If I run out of ideas I can read some of the books we have in our house, or I can go to the library. On rainy days I can just watch movies or do a puzzle.” When asked if he would be lonely the boy said he was looking forward to spending time with his parents and said, “We can go hiking together and plant a garden and go fishing too. Maybe we can even go to a few baseball games.”

After seeing the child in town at a pizzeria with a woman who turned out to be his mother, authorities were called by other patrons who were concerned that the child had been kidnapped from a local day camp. One of the customers explained that, “We had right to be suspicious, it’s pretty unusual to see a kid around here in the summer. We weren’t even sure if he was a child or a tiny adult. Better safe than sorry.” After hearing that the boy was not enrolled in a summer program of any kind a local parent called child protection services, which later dismissed the charges, stating that the mother’s actions “although egregious, did not warrant official action.”

The mother, whose identity is being withheld amid concerns for her safety, did not wish to comment on the situation saying, “This is a family matter, we hope you will respect our privacy.” Further developments will be reported as they occur.











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