Camp Breaking News:

Parents Come To Visiting Day Without Cookie Cake


A ten-year-old boy was traumatized when his parents came to visiting day without a cookie cake for him. Although initially ecstatic upon viewing his parents for the first time in three weeks, his joy quickly turned to horror when he realized that his parents had not brought him a cookie cake with his camp’s logo on it.

The child, whose name is Alex, opened a cooler his parents had brought with them, only to discover peaches, plums, watermelon slices, and cut up organic vegetables. His parents explained that, “We thought that since everyone else in the bunk would be getting a cookie cake, as well as donuts, cupcakes, assorted chips, soda, and tons of candy, a healthy alternative might be a great idea. We figured the kids might want something different after they had eaten all the junk food and vomited. We had no idea that Alex would be so upset and we feel terrible. We realize now that we made a huge mistake. At least we brought him the sushi he requested.”

A candy store proprietor from the town in which Alex and his parents live was interviewed for this article and said that she was very angry about the situation. The woman, who wished to remain anonymous stated, “These parents have set a dangerous precedent. At least ten percent of my annual revenue comes from camp visiting day purchases. The fact that most of the food doesn’t get eaten and is thrown out the next day is irrelevant. This is an important tradition and one that I feel must be upheld.” Another shop owner in the community said, “If the parents get away with this, who’s to say what’s next? Countless companies, like the one that makes Mad Libs for instance, could go out of business. The entire camp industry could crumble.”

Although Alex’s kind-hearted bunkmates offered to share their food with him, he was not consolable. Feeling as if they had no other alternative, Alex’s mother and father left camp and drove to the nearest candy store to purchase several hundred dollars worth of sugary treats. While acknowledging it wasn’t the same as a cookie cake, the  parents said that they prayed Alex would forgive them and hoped they could still salvage some of the day, although at press time it was unclear if that had happened. As the parents left the candy store, they were overheard saying that theirs was a cautionary tale and they hoped others would learn from their disastrous error.

Further developments will be reported as they occur.









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