August Breaking News:

Boy Returns From Sleep Away Camp Having Done All His Summer Reading

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A local mother was reportedly in a state of shock after discovering her twelve-year-old son had done all of his required summer reading while away at camp. She made the surprising discovery a few days after her son had returned from camp, when she gently suggested he start his schoolwork, only to be told by him that it had all been done already.

The boy, who we will refer to only as “Jake” to protect his privacy, explained to his mother that, instead of just reading the Mad Magazines, comic books and sports publications she had sent to camp in a care package, he decided to spend a little time each day tackling the books he had brought with him. In addition to reading the books, Jake had taken copious notes on each chapter and written a paper that offered a synopsis of the stories, thematic discussion and character analysis. Jake also told his mother that after completing his own work he began reading his bunkmates’ summer books, so that he would be able to help his friends when they attempted to do all their work the day before school began.

Jake’s mother, who was so stunned and dazed by her son’s unusual actions that she was unable to continue doing his eleven loads of laundry, also discovered a completed math review packet, a highlighted history book and Spanish flash cards in the duffle bags that had been delivered by Camp Trucking one day earlier. Jake explained, “I didn’t want to get rusty in any of my subjects so I tried to stay on top of things. It really didn’t take much to get it all done, although I admit I took a few days off for color war. I found that I was able to have a ton of fun and still have time for my schoolwork. I want to start the new school year off on a good foot.”

The mother, who had never witnessed this type behavior with her older sons, seemed at a loss for words and could only repeatedly mutter “just go do your work” when asked to comment for this interview. Jake, who seemed non-plussed by the reaction his behavior had caused, politely excused himself, saying he needed to practice piano before going out to play.

Further developments will be reported as they occur.

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