I recently wrote a piece about a jacket that’s become so ubiquitous, it’s literally impossible to go anywhere without seeing it. Shortly after, a reader sent me an article about an influencer who wears the jacket all the time. A little curious, I checked out this influencer on Instagram. I was surprised to see that this young woman has over a million followers and has gotten so famous, she now has her own brand of clothing.
I looked at this woman’s pictures of her and her adorable children in their beautiful apartment in Manhattan and decided that I too would like to be an influencer. It seems like a really great job. You get free stuff and people know who you are.
There are a few obstacles with my plan, however, none that I think are insurmountable.
First of all, I’m not young. That’s okay because instead of influencing the younger crowd, I can influence middle-age women like myself. Just because we aren’t young doesn’t mean we can’t be adorable. Okay, maybe not adorable but cute. Hmmm, perhaps not cute but sophisticated. I will circle back to deciding what my exact my vibe will be.
Instagram followers—I already have over 200 which is not that far off from a million. I may need to post more pictures to grow my following. Not a problem. I noticed that the influencer often posts photos of her and her children in bed. I can do that – I love to be in bed! I can take selfies of myself keeping it real with my anti-aging cream, wearing my favorite XXL college sweatshirt – the one that has the holes in it, which I see is quite fashionable. On second thought that might not attract potential followers, so I may need to post pictures of me somewhere else. Since I don’t lead a terribly glamorous life I am not sure where. The grocery store? Target? Do influencers shop at Target? I will have to research that.
As far as clothing, I don’t have flowy flower dresses; I tend to wear my comfortable mom jeans. In fact, my favorite jeans actually say Mother on them. Maybe I could be a brand ambassador for them. After raising three sons, I am definitely a mother. And eventually I could start my own line of Grandmother jeans that are even more high waisted than Mother jeans. A girl can dream, right?
I don’t live in a chic and well-appointed Manhattan apartment, but I do have a comfortable house in Westchester. I’ve been throwing stuff out Marie Kondo style—I just got rid of a 24 year old green couch that hasn’t brought anyone joy in decades, so the place doesn’t look half bad.
Next—the influencer is really skinny. Like she hasn’t had a cookie in decades. Or pasta. Which is like me, except it’s only been a few hours since I’ve eaten those things. I admit to having a muffin top. Is there a place for an influencer who’s a little chunky? This could be a deal breaker because I really do like to eat. Maybe snack companies will send me free stuff. I’m a big fan of dark chocolate and things covered in dark chocolate, in case you want to send me some of your product to promote. But I’m not that finicky, so whatever you send me is fine.
Children—as I mentioned earlier, the influencer has two adorable little girls. They are so cute you can almost smell their sweetness when you look pictures of them. I have three grown sons who really don’t like to smile for the camera. In fact, my oldest son has made a habit out of snarling when we attempt to take a group picture so as to discourage me. Our dog was adorable but he died a few years ago. Maybe I can borrow other people’s children and pets.
I am starting to realize that being an influencer could be harder than I thought. If you have any ideas, please let me know. And if you want to follow me on Instagram, I’m @marlenekf914.